Now time for something a little different: Films of the Year 2015 - The Alternative Awards!
Including such categories as: Most Disappointing Film, Pleasant Surprises, Most WTF? Film and Best Adlibbed Joke, etc… Read on to see what they are!
Once again, this is just my opinion - and is
based on this list of films that I saw last year. You can also check out
my article for the Top 10 Films of 2015, click HERE.
The 3 Most Disappointing Films of the Year (AKA
Films that I thought would be great but weren’t.)
3) Inside Out
Now hold on a
second. This is a decent film, no doubt. I’m not debating that fact. It is
clever, well written at times quite moving. But the ‘best Pixar film yet’? Not
even close.
Despite being hailed by many critics as ‘Pixar’s
return to form’, Inside Out ended up
disappointing me. Of course animated features that are aimed primarily at
children can have an adult subtext running through them. The only problem is,
this film is too complicated and confusing for most children to fully enjoy or
to appreciate as these themes are the main thrust of the movie. Concepts such as schizophrenia, mental illness and depression
are difficult enough to convey even-handedly – but these themes are presented
in a such a weird and abstract method during Inside Out, that it is likely to pass by the majority of the
children.
Some inconsistencies in the logic of how the
‘emotions’ work too - these characters seem to sometimes be controlling Riley (the
main character), whereas at other times it appears that Riley’s actions and
decisions seem to have an effect on them, which further complicates the narrative.
Parents who take their kids to watch this may be impressed at the film’s
unusually mature themes – but you have to remember: it has to appeal to the
kids first and foremost.
When someone mentions ‘Pixar’ as a brand you
automatically think: The Incredibles,
Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo, Up and Wall-E. Inside
Out just doesn't feel like a ‘Pixar’ film. And maybe that’s my problem,
petty though it may seem.
It’s a not a bad film, I just feel it’s overly
hyped for what it is and its limited audience appeal.
2) Chappie
Oh, Neil Blomkamp… When Elysium came out and people knocked it I
fought your corner. I really did. But then there came Chappie.
First off, they may as well have
called it “Die Antwoord: The Movie”. I’m not one to really complain about
product placement in films (pretty commonplace these days), but this film takes
it to a whole new level. Ninja and Yolandi from Die Antwoord play themselves
(they didn't even bother to change their names), are constantly seen listening
to their own music, wear their own branded clothes, and have their signature
artwork plastered everywhere in the film. I actually quite like Die Antwoord as
a band – but in a film like this it just becomes just too weord and immersion breaking.
It doesn't help either that they
aren’t the best actors and yet are given so much screen time.
Now on to Chappie himself.
Although the effects and CG are absolutely top notch, tonally this film is all
over the place. It’s like Jar Jar Binks was fused with Robocop and thrown
into the Jo’burg comfort zone of Blomkamp’s two previous films. They hint at some moral and philosophical questions, but instead squander their time on repeating cringeworthy 'gangsta'-isms. How any of
actual the science works either is glossed over to a ridiculous degree (all it
takes is 20 PS4s strapped together to siphon off a human consciousness?!), not
to mention entirely inconsistent character beats from scene to scene. One
minute Dev Patel is telling Chappie: “You have to listen to me. Promise me you
wont do any crimes!” and then in the next, “You can do whatever you want,
Chappie. Don't let anyone tell you want you can or can’t do!”. Ugh.
This could have been a smart
sci-fi with a great scope for an interesting though provoking narrative. Instead, we ended up with a mess of a
dumb action/comedy/bandpromo nonsense.
At least a mullet-sporting Hugh
Jackman seemed to be having fun stomping around in his ED-209.
1) Crimson Peak
I love Guillermo Del Toro films.
I’ve seen and enjoyed them all. From Chronos
through The Devil’s Backbone, right
up to Pacific Rim. I even like the
two Hellboy movies, which usually
divide fans. With that, I had high hopes for Crimson
Peak – a film which was sold as Del Toro going back to his gothic horror
roots; and featuring an excellent cast to boot.
Now the production design, set
design, costumes and most of the visual effects for this film are fantastic.
Award-worthy, even. The whole film is visually stunning. The actors (Tom
Hiddleston in particular) are also pretty decent.
But that’s about all I can praise.
Perhaps Del Toro got so caught up in the design side of things he forgot to check
if he had a half decent story to go along with it. It starts well, but the initial scares
that the film teases are to come (and it's never explained why her mother was such a
scary-ass ghost!) evaporate along with the almost superfluous spirits that haunt
the mansion of the title. They end up being too CG to be scary and so harmless that in honesty they could
have been removed altogether without affecting the plot at all – they are that
inconsequential. The villains in this are very much human, and because of that you
can see where the story is heading from a mile away. The fact that main
character stumbles about ten steps behind the audience is not a satisfying form
of dramatic irony – it’s just mostly infuriating to watch and tedious to sit
through.
Tonally, the thing is all over the
place too. At times it revels in mawkish chick-lit romance, then suddenly
swings into over the top gore effects. There are set-ups which never really get
an effective pay-off and the ending ‘twist’ is so downplayed you wonder if
there was even any point in including it as one.
Like I say, beautiful looking
film. Duff story. Most disappointing.
3 Films That Were
Pleasant Surprises (AKA Films that I thought might be bad but were
actually quite good.)
3) The Gift
This film was great as it kind of
came out of nowhere. Directed, written and starring Joel Edgerton. Impressive. Is
it a case of an ego-trip or a vanity project? Definitely not – and as you see the kind of character he
plays in it you will see why.
The Gift is great for a few reasons. Firstly, the cast are all excellent. As
well as Edgerton being creepy in a very subtle way, we have Rebecca Hall (good
in almost everything she is in); and it’s great to witness a darker side to Jason
Bateman – something you don't normally see and the film cleverly uses that very well to
its advantage.
As the film unravels, it preys on
the sense of the unknown - you find yourself wondering just how far they will take it – which makes it so
effective. To say too much is to spoil the viewing experience. Needless to say
it is a great 90s-style thriller that manages to make you squirm without having
to resort to gore or torture. Great ending too.
2) Terminator: Genisys
Okay so I’m not saying this film was amazing. But the point is, ever
since the film was announced (along with its terrible sounding title)
everyone had already made up their mind that this was going to be utter shit.
But you know what? It was alright
– in a kind of fun and disposable way.
The fact that Genisys seeks to effectively rewrite the events of the previous Terminator movies (due to yet another time travelling plot device),
means they can go in a different direction altogether and not be
shackled too much by the events of any of the other films in the franchise. So
it’s not really a sequel/prequel – more of a divergence to the canon.
Yes, title is still stupid and yes
there is yet another gimmicky ‘new kind of Terminator’ to contend with but
there are lots of fun moments. Plenty of cheeky call-backs to the
original two Terminator films: we get to see more future stuff (purple lasers
and Hunter Killers!), it’s great to see Byung-hun Lee as a T-1000, and seeing a
certain scene with a young Arnold Terminator is a delight. The film also has a
decent twist in it – one that is unfortunately most certainly spoiled if you
have watched any trailer for it. It certainly got me though!
Oh, and did I mention that Arnie
is great in this? He is legit funny and actually gets the majority of the
laughs. Who would have thought it? It’s throwaway fun, but worth watching just
to see the big man do what he does best.
1) John Wick
Keanu has been away for a while.
He’s has kept a low profile recently, apart from Eli Roth’s Knock Knock, which nobody seemed to have
watched. On the face of it, a ‘hitman forced out of retirement’ film seems
like the straight to DVD fodder that is routinely thrown the way of many a
faded action star.
But John Wick is different. It has such a simple set-up – a
straightforward revenge movie – that it really just allows the action to be
centre stage. The film is directed by a pair of ex-stunt guys, so they know
their onions when it comes to framing and shooting action scenes – and there are plenty
of them. We basically just see Keanu killing lots of bad guys and doing so in a
very efficient manner. It’s slick and well choreographed but in a more
realistic style – not overly dressed up with lots of with kung-fu, CG or wire-work.
In terms of just showcasing sheer
action - this is probably the best movie of the year. It makes you believe
Keanu is that bad-ass once again.
It's also fun to see him chasing down
Alfie Allen – basically playing a Russian version of Theon Greyjoy.
The 3 Most WTF? Films
of the Year
3) Bone Tomahawk
This one is a most unusual mash-up of
genres: a western/drama/horror that's played fairly straight. It has a great
cast (Kurt Russell, Matthew Fox, Patrick Wilson and Richard Jenkins among
others) and a great script. A slow-burning and creepy start gradually builds up
to some crazy violence towards the end.
Bone Tomahawk never
got a wide theatrical release, most likely on account of one or two ultra gory
scenes. The majority of the film isn’t like that though. It utilises a great
sense of unease for the most part, so that when it does happen it is truly shocking.
It definately gets my vote for one of the most horrific death scenes this year -
worse than any of those in The Green Inferno
(another cannibal film seeing a delayed released this year – Eli Roth’s homage to
Deodato’s infamous 1980 film Cannibal
Holocaust).
Okay, so there it is! It’s a
western with cave-dwelling cannibals! Let's move on.
2) The Human Centipede:
Third Sequence
Now this isn’t bad because it's a Human Centipede movie – having seen
the first two, the concept itself doesn't bother me all that much. It’s the
direction they decided to go with it that is truly mind-boggling.
The first Human Centipede film: a fairly straightforward horror. A mad
doctor captures wandering tourists; experiment ensues. The sequel is where it
gets a bit meta. About a guy who becomes obsessed with the first film and sets
out to recreate the experiments for himself (but with no medical knowledge) and
tries it with a whole bunch of people instead of three.
The third film takes place in a
prison and stars both the leads of the first two films but in new roles (as
prison warden and his assistant) who watch the first two films and get the idea
that this could work in a prison, but with pretty much all the inmate
population incorporated into the madness.
The problem is – its not as clever
as it thinks it is. It takes too much stupid randomness before they even get
to the outrageous ‘centipede’ part which surely is the main point of the movie. Although the first two films were pretty damn dark, they seem to have gone for a more comedic tone here and it's just plain weird. Even the director Tom Six appears in a cameo as himself to visit the prison in order to assure the warden that yes,
it is all medically accurate and entirely possible for one to create a human
centipede. As you do.
The most off-putting part of this
film is not the gore or the gross-out scenes – it's the fact that Dieter Lasser
(so effectively creepy as the mad doctor in the first film) is instead reduced
to a raving madman with a terrible Texan accent bellowing out almost every
single one of his lines at the top of his voice – making this film nigh on unwatchable.
1) Tusk
Kevin Smith… what the actual fuck…
Hats off for original ideas but this one is truly bonkers.
Clerks and Chasing Amy
are among my favourite films – he was so awesome at writing quirky characters with loads of smart quick-fire dialogue. Later on he started to head off in an
interesting horror direction with Red
State - but this is just…
Michael Parks is excellent as
always and Justin Long seems to do the usual and play someone you just love to hate - so
you don't mind so much when he gets kidnapped and turned into a Walrus… Wait
what?
The idea for the story apparently
started off as a joke on one of Smith’s podcasts and the thing just ballooned into
a movie from there.
Is it any good? Well, it tries to
be funny and disturbing at the same time and sits kind of oddly in the middle because of it.
And are we also really supposed to believe that Genesis Rodriguez shacked up with a
chubby Haley Joel Osment?
Oh, and did I mention that Johnny Depp is also in this but is disguised
under heavy make-up, with a strange French accent and is only listed in the
credits as ‘Guy Lapointe’?
It’s one of those films in which
everything just seems to say: Ha! The joke’s
on you! But if Smith is willing to finance and distribute his own films I
guess he can do what the hell he likes.
Best Performance
Steve Carrell (Foxcatcher)
Steve Carrell is mostly known for his comedic
roles but even when appearing in the occasional drama he always seems to showcase a dry wit.
But here, due to his strange performance and make-up he is almost unrecognisable.
Creepily effective as John Du Pont – the eccentric billionaire, at times a coach
and father figure, sometimes a petulant man-child and occasionally a hint of homoeroticism. It’s an unbelievable transformation from how we
normally see Steve Carrell and is my favourite performance of the year.
Best Vehicle
The Doof Wagon (Mad Max: Fury Road)
Love it or hate it – you can’t
watch the scene where they introduce the Doof Wagon without having some kind of
reaction. A mobile speaker stack with drummers and a guitarist seems a wacky concept
on the face of it - but it does make sense.
These tribes are warriors of the road and travelling war parties throughout history have always
tended to have a musician with them (from drummers to bugle boys) to keep the tempo, keep
them all hyped-up and to boost morale. Or perhaps it’s just the
post-apocalyptic equivalent of having a bad-ass stereo.
'Coma-Doof Warrior', the blind
guitarist strapped to the giant speakers with bungee cords is played by real-life
guitarist iOTA. Who was actually playing that guitar as they rode around and
filmed the scenes.
Oh, and did I mention the guitar
shoots fire? Which it also did in real-life.
Love it or hate it – it’s awesome and unforgettable.
Best Ad Libbed Joke
‘Bye, Felicia.’ (Straight Outta Compton)
The scene itself is shot as a
single take, where we watch two guys knock on a hotel room door looking for one
of their girlfriends, who they heard is in a debauched after-party with NWA. As
the door opens and we get a good view of the room’s goings ons, the two men
are chased off by the band brandishing guns. As they look to return to their party,
the girl in question is pushed out of the hotel room by Ice Cube (Oshea Jackson
Jr.), with the dismissive: ‘Bye, Felicia’.
Why’s this so good? Well it was ad-libbed
when they shot the scene by Oshea Jackson Jr. who plays his own real life father Ice Cube
in Straight Outta Compton (directed by F. Gary Gray). The line is a call back to
the same line spoken by Ice Cube’s character Craig to similarly dismiss a bothersome girl in
the popular movie Friday (1995) - which
was also directed by F Gary Gray… 20 years ago!
Talk about full circle…
So there you have it – just some
random awards I felt like mentioning. If you want to check out last year’s Alternative
Awards, click HERE, or check out my main Top
10 Films of 2014 article HERE.
8th Jan 2016
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