Films of the Year 2018 - The Alternative Awards!

     Now for the other stuff: Films of the Year 2018 - The Alternative Awards!

      If you want to just see what my Top 10 Films of 2018 were, click HERE. If you want some alternative fun categories, see below:

The 3 Most Disappointing Films of the Year

(AKA Films that I thought would be good but actually sucked.)

3) First Man

     There is no doubt that director Damien Chazelle is a versatile and talented filmmaker, but his most recent is unfortunately just a bit of a slog. Whiplash and La La Land both featured in my previous Top 10s so of course I was expecting big things from this. You likely won’t ever see a more realistic portrayal of Neil Armstrong’s journey to the moon, and the superb attention to detail is to be applauded (as does the use of a Theremin in the score) but the film just drags, especially since you know how it all turns out in the end.

2) The Predator

     Shane Black is back! He’s a usually a great writer and director, which made me excited when this film was initially announced, but The Predator ended up a bit of a confused mess. Evidently there were some strange editing choices to blame (some of which were a result of a last minute culling of scenes featuring a controversial actor), but I wouldn't be surprised if there was some studio interference too. One of the main characters is killed off in such an off-handed fashion that a lot of people who watched the film completely missed it.

 

      Black’s trademark quippy dialogue is present in parts but a lot of the characters just don't seem fleshed out enough beyond their ‘mental illness’ – he’s the Tourettes guy, he’s an Aspergers kid - they end up just feeling like badly drawn and distasteful caricatures.

      In contrast, Boyd Holdbrook is likeable enough as the lead but ends up being too bland when presented next to these over the top ‘loonies’. You can’t win either way it seems.      There is a mischievous streak to some of it (“Get to the choppers!”) and one or two surprises along the way but it doesn't salvage the car crash of the rest of it.

1) Mile 22

     Lauren Cohan in an action role! The guy from The Raid! And Mark Wahlberg in a gritty action movie! That’s what we were promised. Instead we got… this?

 

      First off, Mark Wahlberg constantly snapping a rubber band on his wrist. It’s supposed to be a character tic but just ends up being more aggrevating than it has a right too – doesn't help that his character is just a plain asshole throughout. Ronda Rousey has a role too and gets some scenes to act but bizarrely is not given all that much in terms of action.
     Similarly Iko Uwais is a wasted talent. Residing in the back seat for a lot of the movie – but when he does get to have the odd fight scene it feels like something spliced from a completely different movie. And there’s the ending twist that is one of those that feels like it’s put there for the hell of it – logic and any semblance of coherence with the rest of the movie be damned.
     However the biggest problem is the dialogue – everyone talks in this crazy hyper aggressive style that also feels somewhat aloof. There are times when you hear all the dialogue in a conversation but end up having to guess as to what they are talking about. It’s not clever.
     Oh, it's a Peter Berg movie. I should have known better.

3 Films That Were Surprisingly Alright

3) Rampage

     A Videogame adaptation of monsters punching each other and smashing up the city – got to be rubbish right? It’s not going to win any awards but it's a fun monster movie that embraces its B-movie roots but does so with a blockbuster budget.
     The fights are entertaining and The Rock has enough charisma to sell it to us. It’s loud, dumb fun.

2) The Meg

     On one hand it can be seen as another cynical CG-heavy Chinese co-production set to appeal to both the western and Asian markets – and it is, but rather than play it entirely straight all the time there is a welcome humorous streak throughout.

      Of course we could have done with a tad more gore and more interesting deaths but the shark in question feels suitably threatening and Jason Statham is perfectly cast to generic hardman roped in to deal with a ludicrous situation. Once again, throwaway rubbish, but entertainingly so. Like one of those terrible Mega-shark films but with an actual budget and decent actors. To be honest, it’s worth seeing just to watch the Stath fight a shark.

1) Tag

     Based on a true story about a group of friends who have continuously played a game of tag since the 1980s. It’s an interesting concept but is there really enough there to make a whole movie? Apparently so.

      Admittedly it is just used as a jumping off point, the film is more about a group of friends who refuse to give up their childhood games and camaraderie, even if its sometimes taken to ridiculous extremes. It's a broad comedy but with a sweet underlying theme, but also goes up a notch with the introduction of Jeremy Renner’s character who boasts he’s never been tagged and takes the game all the more seriously because of it.

Universally Hated Film That I liked

Batman Ninja

     Boy did people hate this one. And yes, it is absolutely bonkers but when you put it in a Japanese perspective this isn’t really all that strange. Time travel, samurais, mech castles – it's a mash up of many things quintessentially anime and I think I large part of this disconnect can be attributed to this heady mix not quite meshing with a western audience, who were perhaps expecting something a bit more straightforward. There are many design choices and concepts that are geared specifically toward the Japanese (for example the villain’s designs – by Takahashi Okazaki (of Afro Samurai fame) - are based on the famous looks of various warring Daimyo from Japanese history).

      The artwork and animation far surpasses anything that other DC animation films have produced to date. If you are expecting a more regular Batman story that just so happens to take place in feudal Japan then you’ll probably hate this too – but if you are open to the idea of a frankly bonkers Elseworlds take on the Dark Knight and associated characters in a steampunk samurai setting (with hordes of monkeys and a Power Ranger-esque final showdown) this is worth checking out.

Most WTF Title

When I Get Home, My Wife Always Pretends To Be Dead

     The title is to the point. That is precisely what the movie is about.

     It’s a bizarre premise (adapted from a comic/novel of the same name) the justification of which doesn’t seem to end up being quite enough to satisfy the lengths the wife goes to in order to fake her death – which does happen often in and in increasingly humorous and outlandish ways. I wouldn't really recommend this film but the title itself is so great it made me watch it.

Darkest Movie of the Year

Solo: A Star Wars Story

     This film was dark.  Though I don't mean in terms of its story or thematically. I mean literally.

      It’s as if somebody edited and colour corrected the film on a faulty monitor or something. For significant portions of the film the character’s faces are covered in shadow or the scene is played out in washed out greys, dark blues and oranges with much of the detail obscured. Whilst in other films one could argue for it being a conscious choice to match the noir aesthetic of the storyline or the brooding themes, here it doesn't at all. It's a pretty standard Star Wars adventure movie and for me it was constantly distracting at how murky and fuzzy everything was and much of the enjoyment of the film was continually sapped away as a result.

      The first time I watched the film it was in IMAX and I seriously thought there was something wrong with the projection, but then I read online later on that many other people noticed the same issue in their screenings as well. Of course the DP and Disney initially blamed individual cinema projections as not being up to scratch but I don't buy it. The film itself was a resounding ‘meh’ anyway so I guess it didn't matter all that much.

Actor to Watch

Sterling K. Brown

     He’s kind of flown under the radar in terms of film with most work being in TV, but he has really blown up this year with film, with a small but vital role as N’jobu in Black Panther to larger roles in Hotel Artemis and antagonist Traeger in The Predator. But what really sealed him as one to watch is his performance as Christopher Darden in 2016’s series The People vs O.J Simpson which I caught up on Netflix during the year.

      I look forward to seeing what he gets involved in next.

Most Instances Of Plot Progression Facilitated Via Enemies Interrupting A Conversation With An Entrance By Way Of Sudden Explosion

Aquaman

     You know the drill, two or more characters are having a conversation when suddenly - BOOM – someone blows a hole in the wall and goons step through the breach to attack, kicking off an action scene.

      The first time it happens: Yeah it’s kind of a movie cliché, but you acknowledge that it’s an economical way to drive the plot forward with a sense of urgency, so yeah why not?

      The second time: Really? They did it again? Wow, that’s kind of lazy.

      The third time: Wait, your kidding now. That was done as a joke right? They realise they've just done it again? Wait. No one has acknowledged this? Not even an exasperated comment or eye-roll from any character?

      The fourth time: …

So there you have it – just some random alternative awards. If you want to check out 2017's Alternative Awards, click HERE, or check out my main Top 10 Films of 2018 article HERE.

6th Jan 2019